I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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