You were right. It hurts to walk today.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
