dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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