gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have demons in me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
