bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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