i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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