Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
