Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
