She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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