Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
