if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
