Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
