"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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