I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
