Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
