Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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