In America we eat man semen.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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