how can u be prego again
i think my mom watched the whole time
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
