Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
