What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
