Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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