the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
