we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
