I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i now understand why vodka
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
