I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
