if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize