Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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