Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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