Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
only you would photoshop your dick
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
