He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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