Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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