i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
