I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
