i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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