he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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