i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
