my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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