lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
