I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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