Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
