I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
