yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
