Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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