Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
