I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
