I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
