I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
