I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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