It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
