planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
