1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I smell stomach acid.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
